i'm still here

I've become pretty sure in the last few weeks that God wants me alive. This month was an exceptionally life-threatening one for me- I've repeatedly tempted fate to dispose of me, yet somehow every time it almost seems like God tells me: "I'm not done with you yet."
Today, i was handed an additional opportunity to just be grateful for life & another day to use the life God has given me to the very fullest i can.
It happened quite suddenly. And in my 4 years of driving, i was never aware that something that dangerous could happen simply from a wet road.
We were running late for an appointment, so naturally i was trying to make good time on the road. I wasn't driving particularly faster than i normally do, but it had been raining the whole morning, so the roads were a little more slippery. The tires on our car have long been due for a change. But i guess it's one of those things you put on a back burner hoping they'll see you through the rough times until you're rolling in the dough someday & can purchase some new ones. now bald tires have long been an acquaintance of skidding on the roads in wet weather. i knew this, but i didn't know it could be that severe.
So we were driving at a fairly fast speed, when all of a sudden, the car spun out of control on the wet road & did a complete 90 degree turn on this busy one way highway so i landed facing the wrong direction. on a curve. so no one coming around the bend could see us. the entire time this was happening, which took approximately 10 seconds, i thought i was gonna be killed, or at best injured or disfigured. this is a major highway. at any time during our spin, we could have been hit with massive impact by a number of cars. the spot the car spun into before it ground to a halt was miraculously in the margin of the road whereas, just a few feet ahead the margin finishes so i would have been pretty screwed in that situation as well. when the car stopped spinning, we were 3 inches away from a big wall, which i was certain we were gonna crash into until that point.
Simon eventually had to stand out on the highway holding the emergency triangle, telling other cars to move over so i could turn our massive vehicle around.
And i might add.......we still got to our appointment on time.
Only God knows why he spared my life today. but the fact that i escaped the ordeal without so much as a scratch-on me or the car is beyond my comprehension.
Matthew 10:30 says: But the very hairs of your head are all numbered...
He's kept me alive in a world of mass confusion & uncertainty. It would be an insult to Him not to do the VERY best i can with the time He's given me here. I hope i don't let Him down.

how to think big

The tendency for so many people to think small means there is much less competition than you think for a very rewarding career.
Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches or pounds or college degrees, or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking. How big we think determines the size of our accomplishments.
It is well to know our inabilities, for this shows us areas in which we can improve. But if we know only our negative characteristics, were in a mess. Our value is small.
You're bigger than you think. So fit your thinking to your true size. Think as big as you really are. Never, never, never sell yourself short!

4 ways to develop the big thinkers vocabulary:

1) Use big, positive , cheerful words and phrases to describe how you feel. When someone asks, "How do you feel today?" and you respond with a negative response, you actually make yourself feel worse. Practice this: it's a very simple point, but it has tremendous power. Every time some one asks you, "How are you?" or "How are you feeling today?" respond with a "Just wonderful! thanks, and you?" or say "Great!" or "Fine." Say you feel wonderful at every possible opportunity, and you will begin to feel wonderful-and bigger, too. Become known as a person who always feels great. It wins friends.
2) Use bright, cheerful, favourable words and phrases to describe other people. Make it a rule to have a big, positive word for all your friends and associates. Be extremely careful to avoid the petty cut-him-down-language. Such talk only cuts you down.
3) Use positive language to encourage others. Compliment people personally at every opportunity. Everyone you know craves praise. Praise sincerely administered, is a success tool. Use it. Use it again and again and again. Compliment people on their appearance, their work, their achievements, their families.
4) Use positive words to outline plans to others. When people hear something like this: "Here is some good news. We face a genuine opportunity..." Their minds start to sparkle. But when they hear something like "Whether we like it or not, we've got a job to do," the mind movie is dull and boring. and they react accordingly. Promise victory and watch eyes light up. Promise victory and win support.

See what can be, not just what is. Putting a big value on people is what converts them into big, regular patrons. Attaching little value to people sends them elsewhere.
What determines how much you're worth? People who don't have much look at themselves as they are now. Thats all they see. They don't see the future, they just see a miserable present.
"If I looked at myself strictly as I am-I couldn't help but be discouraged. I'd see a nobody and I'd be a nobody for the rest of my life.
"I've made my mind to look at myself as the person I'm going to be in a few short years. When i look at myself that way, I feel bigger and think bigger. "
The price tag the world puts on us is just about identical to the one we put on ourselves.
Here is how you can develop your power to see what can be, not just what is.
1) Practice adding value to things.
2)Practice adding value to people.
3)Practice adding value to yourself.

What does it take to make a good speech?
Successful public speakers have one thing in common: They have something to say and they feel a burning desire for other people to hear it.
Don't let concern with trivia keep you from speaking successfully in public.

What causes quarrels?
Little things, petty thinking, causes arguments. So, to eliminate quarrels, eliminate petty thinking.
Before complaining or accusing or reprimanding someone or launching a counterattack in self-defense, ask yourself, "Is it really important?" In most cases, it isn't and you avoid conflict.
When you feel like taking negative action, ask yourself, "Is it really important?" That question is the magic in building a finer home situation. It works in any situation in life that is apt to produce quarrels.

Don't fall into the triviality trap. Think of those things that really matter. Things that make the difference. Don't become submerged under surface issues. Concentrate on important things.

bbs (be back soon)

hi guys,
im sorry i havent been a frequent poster of late. i've barely had any time this week to do anything. but it only means you're due for a flurry of posts shortly, so watch this space. i miss being able to post very frequently, and have limited access to a computer, but these are all mere excuses, not a condition so i will do better.

i'll just leave you with a few words to ponder, ooo i like these:

"Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence."

see you soon.
xxx sharms

mix it up!

i get to sample a very broad range of people in my weekend activity of doing birthday parties. overall i find it quite interesting studying the different types of people & circles that i come in contact with. oh yes, people watching is a very fun pastime. & very educational too. i've read that smart people have mastered the art of being quiet & just listening or observing. you can learn so much.
at kiddies birthday parties, there are generally a standard collection of people present. i'll name a few types:....there'll be oldies- sweet grandparents who are ever offering you food & help-those guys are among my favourites; oldies who think they're still young -single, in jeans with the cigarette glued between fore & middle finger, all clued in on the latest lingo; there'll be young people, parents, naturally CHILDREN aaaaaa that's where i have some issues, haha. - why am i in this profession?hahaha
now some parties go the extra mile & invite some additional nationalities, new acquaintances, new neighbours, new work colleagues, people from all kinds of walks of life. they really mix it up. recently i went to a party where there were indians, whites, some non-english speaking japanese- who, by the way were trying very hard to socialize, bless them, all ages, ranks, you name it.
then there are some parties i do where i notice a distinct difference. while they may have the usual scenario of family members & friends. these guys all seem to me to be mere duplications of one another. they talk exactly the same, have the same accent, skin tone, dress style, weight, hairstyles, they laugh at the same jokes, drink in equally quantum portions, & want the same things from life..... that's easy because what they want from life is not much. i imagine they grew up together & it never struck them to even consider broadening their scope or their social circle.
unfortunately, people like these will never grow. in order to grow, one needs to be constantly raising their goals, expectations & broadening their vision. meeting new people, travelling to new places, doing things they've never done before! associating with great minds, never settling for what we are or have. but perpetually knowing that we can do better & more!
another pro in associating with different people is that you start to notice the ones that have that special quality-they've discovered the secrets to life & habituate them in their own lives. these are the kind of people you want to spend your time with. the ones that will add value to your life. & teach you things that will help you be a better person & inspire you to lead a more rewarding life!
yet some people are willing to settle for what they have & for what they are. they don't realise that men of FAITH climb unscaled walls & sail uncharted seas!
now obviously birds of a feather may flock together right? and people are gonna have friends that are similar to them. but sometimes, it's nice to be willing to look beyond what we know & see if we can learn more. about the other guy. about a different situation. about a different country. about a different language or race. - this is what makes life so fascinating! that there's always opportunity to grow & be more than we think we can be.

make it go away!

hi guys
im sorry i've been scarce in posting, all the pollen in the air has made everyone in our house a really yucky brand of ill for the last couple of weeks. since im supposed to resist the urge to talk about my health, except perhaps the up tempo variety, i tried very hard not to post about it. but i just wanted to explain my absence. hopefully i should be up and running by next week, in the meantime may post moderately at leisure. i realise i have also been a bit of a dummie in posting photos as i said i would, so im sorry for that. i have to admit i am unable to find a decent photographer, besides people just thinking im ridiculously self-obsessed to want them to be taking pictures fo me all the time. rina has come to visit, & she always makes for a good photo or two, so i'll look into taking some more & posting of whatever i can. well, see you on the other side of the ol' corpus contaminus....hahaha well it sounded like a medical term. see you soon. ;)

build confidence & destroy fear pt 2

Fear of other people is a big fear. But there is a way to conquer it. You can conquer fear of people if you will learn to put them into proper perspective.
people are alike in many, many more ways than they are different. I discovered the other fellow is pretty much like me. He likes good food, he misses his family and friends, he wants to get ahead, he has problems, he likes to relax. So if the other fellow is basically like me, there's no point in being afraid of him. "
1) Get a balanced view of the other fellow.
2) Develop an understanding attitude. People who want to figuratively to bite you, growl at you, pick on you, and otherwise chop you down are not rare. If you're not prepared for people like that, they can punch big holes in your confidence and make you feel completely defeated. You need a defense against the adult bully, the fellow who likes to throw his meager weight around.
Underneath hes probably a very nice guy. Most folks are.
Remember those two short sentences next time someone declares war on you. The way to win in situations like this is to let the other fellow blow his stack and then forget it.
Doing what's right keeps your conscience satisfied. And this builds self-confidence. When we do what is known to be wrong, two negative things happen. First, we feel guilt and this guilt eats away confidence. Second, other people sooner or later find out and lose confidence in us.
Do what's right and keep your confidence. That's thinking yourself to success.
Remember, motions are the pre-cursors of emotions. Act the way you want to feel.

1) Be a front seater.
You may be a little more conspicuous in the front, but remember, there is nothing inconspicuous about success.
2) Practice making eye-contact.
You say nothing good about yourself when you avoid making eye contact. Make your eyes work for you. Aim them right at the other person's eyes. I not only gives you confidence, it wins you confidence, too.
3) Walk 25% faster.
4) Practice speaking up
5) Smile big
A smile is excellent medicine for confidence deficiency. A bis smile beats fear, rolls away worry, defeats despondency
And a real smile does more than cure just your ill feeling. A real smile melts away the opposition of others-and instantly, too Another person simply cant be angry with you if you give him a big, sincere smile.
Smile big & you feel like "happy days are here again." But smile BIG! A half-developed smile is not fully guaranteed. Smile until your teeth show. That large-size smile is fully guaranteed.
Harness the power of smiling.

build confidence & destroy fear pt 1

Fear is real. Fear is success enemy number one. Fear stops people from capitalizing on opportunity; fear wears down physical vitality. Fear explains why millions of people accomplish little & enjoy little.
Truly fear is a powerful force. In one way or another fear prevents people from getting what they want from life.
Fear of all kinds and sizes is a form of psychological infection. We can cure a mental infection the same way we cure a body infection-with specific, proved treatments.
Condition yourself with this fact: all confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence. Those people you know who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, who are at ease everywhere and all the time, acquired their confidence, every bit of it.
You can, too.
Action cures fear. Indecision, postponement, on the other hand, fertilize fear.
When we face tough problems, we stay mired in the mud until we take action. Hope is a start. But hope needs action to win victories.
Isolate your fear. Then take appropriate action.
1) Deposit only positive in your memory bank. Let's face it squarely: everyone encounters plenty of unpleasant, embarrassing, & discouraging situations. But unsuccessful & successful people deal with these situations in directly opposite ways. Unsuccessful people take them to heart, so to speak. They dwell on the unpleasant situations, thereby giving them a good start in their memory. They don't take their minds away from them. At night the unpleasant situation is the last thing they think about.
Confident, successful people, on the other hand, "don't give it another thought." Successful people specialize in putting positive thoughts into their memory bank.
What kind of performance would your car deliver if every morning before you left for work you scooped up a handful of dirt and put into your crankcase? That fine engine would soon be a mess, unable to do what you want it to do. Negative unpleasant thoughts deposited in your mind affect your mind the same way. Negative thoughts produce needless wear and tear on your mental motor. They create worry, frustration, and feelings of inferiority. They put you beside the road while others drive ahead.
Do this: in these moments when you're alone with your thoughts-when you're driving your car or eating alone-recall pleasant, positive experiences Put good thoughts in your memory bsnk. This boosts confidence. It gives you that "I-sure-feel-good" feeling. It keeps your body functioning right too.
Here is an excellent plan. Just before you go to sleep, deposit good thoughts in your memory bank. Count your blessings. Recall the many good things you have to be thankful for. Recall your little victories & accomplishments. Go over the reasons why you are glad to be alive.
2) Withdraw only positive thoughts from your memory bank.
Don't build mental monsters. Refuse to withdraw the unpleasant thoughts from your memory bank. When you remember situations of any kind, concentrate on the good part of the experience; forget the bad. Bury it. If you find yourself thinking about the negative side, turn your mind off completely.
And here is something very significant and very encouraging. Your mind wants you to forget the unpleasant. If you will just cooperate, unpleasant memories will gradually shrivel and the teller in you memory bank will cancel them out.
It really is easy to forget the unpleasant if we simply refuse to recall it. Withdraw only positive thoughts from your memory bank. Let the others fade away. And your confidence, that feeling of being on top of the world, will zoom upward. You take a big step forward toward conquering fear when you refuse to remember negative, self-depreciating thoughts.

smile!

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown

Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. ~Jim Beggs

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator

he cares!

last night something happened to me that i do not wish upon any God-fearing soul. my 'husband' (yes its still extremely weird) and i had driven to another town for an appointment. now he has this irritating little personal habit of dislocating his shoulder at random hours of the day or night. normally he employs the very most inconvenient time to do it too. so, just as we were to meet with this girl, out it pops. now, one would hope a simple maneuver of popping it back in were an option, but unfortunately since it's come out so many times its in fact worn a groove in to the place it pops out into & just gets locked in to place making it impossible for him to put back without professional help. we've grown accustomed to instantly having to switch into emergency mode over this, though it bothers me immensely that we have to put so many poor unsuspecting victims at an inconvenience every time.
yesterday was extra special.
so we dropped this girl home at about 3:00 & deposited him at the hospital. we had hoped they would put it in quickly & we could drive home before dark. however, as is the case with general hospitals, one can wait up to an entire day before any action is taken. so at about 6:00 they decided he had to stay the night & drugged him to a semi-conscious level.
i had no choice but to drive home in the dark by myself.
we had just enough money in his wallet to pay the admission fee, so i left it with him & took the cell phone cause we figured he could call from the hospital to be picked up.
now anyone that knows me knows well that without a competent co-driver or an extremely familiar route i am a gonner when it comes to directions. quite literally i kind of exist on a sub-conscious level with my head in the clouds, seemingly in another dimension, relying on my photographic memory to simply take photos of things i've seen in order for them to register with me. this has its advantages, as sometimes i can remember things other's have no recollection of. including people, names, places, etc. through no expertise of my own, just purely the activity of my subconscious mind. (God gave us the most incredible organ-our brain!)
anyway, i looked at the petrol gauge & estimated that i had enough petrol to get home.
so off i set toward the highway turnoff....
now this is where my total inability with directions was a very inconvenient handicap. i got on the highway in the wrong direction!
this might sound like no big deal, just get off at the next turn off & get on the highway going the other way, right? hmm i wish it was that simple. remember how i said i only had enough petrol to get home. going this way i was driving uphill which wasn't being very charitable on the petrol level. and it was pouring rain. and i was in the mountains so we were pretty much in the clouds hence i couldn't see one foot in front of me. and my cellphone battery considerately chose to be almost empty. i also had no money to put petrol if i somehow miraculously found my way to a petrol station.
i looked at a road sign which said that the next off ramp was in 25 kms...oh this did not look promising.
i pulled over & prayed that the teeny weeny bit of battery would last for me to sms my sister at home & tell her where i was, & that i needed help. THANK GOD it did.
there was a sweet man who we used to know when we lived in this town a while back who seemed to be our best chance of getting help. claire called him & explained my situation.
funny, we spent our time with lots of people while we were living there, but not a single one of them came to mind when i needed someone to count on. that was a BIG lesson for me on spending my time with the people who will add value to my life. where were those people now? who knew. i just knew they were not the ones that would be there for me when i needed help.
once i knew help was on its way, i heaved a sigh of relief. but i wondered how i could ever show my gratitude to this kind gentleman whom we barely knew but who had saved my life.
he got me to a petrol station & filled up R100 petrol for me & didn't think it was such a good idea for me to drive home alone being what the circumstances were.
he offered that i come stay at his house & just to ease the awkwardness he wanted to call a niece of his to come stay there with me. haha. i assured him it was okay, since i had already inconvenienced half the world so i'd be fine on my own. but i took up his offer to stay at his house. he doesn't cook, & had picked up a plate of dinner at his sister's house. he insisted i have at least half of it. he put me up in a room in his house & loaned me pj's which belonged to his son who used to live there.
the next day he directed me back to the hospital where i was able to pick simon up & be on our way.
i know it's a miracle that im here today. God sent an angel of mercy to help me when it seemed there was no hope.
i've never seen an angel, but i know God sends his messengers when it seems that we need an extra dose of His supernatural help. when all our own human resources have run out. who whisper the message of hope......."He cares."

the power of the dream...

Written By: David Foster, Babyface
Lyrics By: L. Thompson

Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strength of just "I can"
Has brought together people of all nations

There's nothing ordinary
In the living of each day
There's a special part
Every one of us will play

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best
To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You'll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girl
As they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration

There's so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It's the moment that you think you can't
You'll discover that you can

The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream